Goodbye from Yogaleaks

Oh god you’re losing it, I knew this would happen! Who is responsible for me packing up and moving on, you demand?! Fine. You want the truth?! I’ll tell you who is responsible.

Julian Assange. It is upon his rounded shoulders that I slam down my blame. This Embassy shut-in has made Wikileaks uncool. Therefore, by association, I am uncool. There’s also the fact that the Yoga that I know and love has morphed into more of a fitness sorority excursion to fashion week. I don’t want to write about yoga now.

I’m busy frying larger fish, truth be told. I have written a book not about frying fish, and it will be available in a few days on Amazon.

My genius book is called Above the Noise – 12 steps to living an inspired life.

This informative and entertaining book is the answer to my frustration that health and fitness industries use this tactic to muddy the waters of information so that consumers – their name for people – will depend on them for information. Newspaper and internet articles don’t help when they write article titles such as these:

What gadgets do you need to be healthy?

Is organic actually worth the extra cost?

Is exercise worth the risk of injury?

Is Vegan even good for you?

Is Paleo the only real health?

For too long I scrolled and shouted at my screen, until one divine moment where the clouds parted and God said unto me, Why don’t you write a book and show us how easy it is…

I think it was God, but it doesn’t matter whose voice came from behind the closet sky.

The message in Above the Noise states that health is a sure path to living an inspired life. Uncomplicated, 100 proof, unbridled health is easily attainable, in fact it is your body’s natural expression when we’re not filling it with crap we don’t need. Inspiration and energy is as much about de-cluttering your diet and your life as it is exercising and eating fresh food. It’s a fun read, not all serious, because I can never keep a straight face with anything.

Life is short, and it’s meant to be uncomplicated and enjoyable and exciting.

If you do buy my book, drop me a line and tell me what you thought of it. There is a fandangle new website for my book which is about to go up at

Remember the word book at the end of above the noise. The short book trailer I made with my friend Maarten is very cool. You should check it out.

So it’s goodbye from me in this form. Thank you for reading. Yogaleaks is leaving the house.

Chantelle Jahara Pinto

Will-Power is a Kung-Fu Sage

Will-power is an old sage who lives in the brain. He promises to inflict serious kung-fu pain on any laziness that dare approach – as soon as his post-sugar high stupor wears off. Poor lonely brain sage, abandoned, with only a volleyball for a friend; so wise, and yet, your dog’s worming schedule is a more gripping tale than anything he has begged or beguiled.

Will-power’s horrendous track record is this: Of the 70% of Americans who made a New Year’s Resolution this year, 92% of them will fail before the end of January. I have any idea why.

Like everything in our world, will-power has duality – night and day stuff. An angel and a devil hover above your shoulders. The angel, our disheartened sage, jealously guards the blue print of your dreams. He sets them up carefully into your future, breaking down large goals into small accomplishments, and steers you confidently toward your dreamy end.

His nemesis, a little horned devil complete with unoriginal trident possesses a care factor of zero as to whether you achieve anything. The devil wants to get through today using any means necessary. His preferred religion is the pleasure channel and regards stress, pain and discomfort like they were holy water, garlic and salt.

The set-up here is an old, old metaphor. The cast of characters looks like this.

The hero: the impotent Sage

The villain: the Devil

You: their play thing

Resistance: The Shape Shifter

The goal: Stay focused on the Sage’s plan. You are the Sage. Follow his guiding light, and when everything goes pear-shaped – because it will – have an atomic bomb-proof plan to fall back on. Don’t let the devil tear down everything you work so hard to establish, even if it’s because he says he’s bored and there’s nothing on TV.

Here’s how to be the 8 percent – the winning end of the resolution spectrum.


The day you run out of time to cook, the fridge is empty, or the banks of the river broke, isolating you from your organic health food store and your personal trainer Julio, don’t self-destruct!

Make contingency plans. Write them down. I can’t tell you how many times I answered an unhealthy craving with a delicious recipe that I had written down in a notepad titled, recipies to save my sorry ass. Have basic ingredients stocked all the time! I divided the notepad into sections according to what taste I craved – sweet, salt, creamy etc. As for stress, how do you behave when it gets the better of you? Is there a way to process your stress and stay on track with your goals?

Get all Abraham Lincoln on your goals and shout: prepare prepare prepare!

Easy Wins the Race

Large and juicy goals are the little devil’s bread and butter. Like the marshmallow man in Ghost Busters, success in will power lies in breaking large things down. Conquer every mountain with small steady steps. If I go hard into a resolution I will fail 100 percent of the time. Prepare, my Padawan. Ease into it with stealth.

Love the Resistance

Fact: When you improve yourself, it will be met with resistance. The disguises which resistance use are infinite, though popular ones include stress, sickness, lethargy, and lack of support from those we love. The closer you get to achieve your goals, the stronger resistance will try to push you back. What a game! Can you recognise how resistance foiled your resolutions in the past?

Admiral Akbar identifies resistance and shouts, “It’s a trap!”

“Persist, you must,” Yoda whispers to me far too often.

Groovy Habits

We are creatures of habit. Your life is a vinyl record (noun: a round, flat object humans used to play recorded music with in the olden days). Each groove is a ritual, a song you re-play every single day. It might be your morning routine, coffee, checking messages, the news etc. Another song might play the way you prepare and enjoy your meals. When rituals or habits are repeated deepening the groove, and it becomes harder for us to break out of them. Now you can see why it takes so much focus to forge a new habit and stay on track. In time, after a thousand repetitions, the new groove becomes deep enough for us to relax our grip a little.

Will-power success depends on forethought, strategy, easing into the new habits and welcoming confrontations that ask us to prove our commitment we have to ourselves.

The Game of Your Life

It’s all it is my friends, your own 3D Tomodatchi Life. Write the words to your anthem. Be exactly who you want to be, because you can.

Do what you want to do Be what you want to be yeah…